being a neet for the majority of the past 7 years has had disasterous effects on my psyche and mental health. i fell like there's something deeply wrong with me mentally and physically but i keep getting dismissed by medical professionals due to the fact they cant find anything wrong. logically, i know that my issues are purely mental health related and i should probably get psychiatric help as opposed to complaining about not being taken serious. probably gonna get on that tomorrow but the healthcare system here is kinda fucky so it'll take a while to get an appointment. i cant remember the last time i've had a genuine vocal conversation with another person that lasted more than 2 minutes, the last time i hung out with a friend on my own accord was 5 years ago and i was cringe enough that it haunts me to this day. as much as i dislike talking to people and being around others i know it's important because humans are social creatures. long term isolation is actively harmful, as much as i enjoy solitude. i could happily spend the rest of my life tucked away in my room at my computer on youtube, discord and obscure internet forums as i goon and talk shit about stuff that doesnt matter but i really need to meet and talk with people in person. if youre in a similar situation to me i highly reccomend meeting with others. hell even a phone call, as scary as it can be. trust me, the idea of starting a phone call or voice chat with another person is scary as hell to me but it's so much better than simply talking over text. people, no matter how anti-social are not meant to be alone. there's a reason isolation is used as a punishment in prison.
if anyone has been reading through these posts i hope you guys are doing better than me, or at least working towards it.